Working on a Sunday doesn’t bother me. Less staff, less customers, a relaxed day in the shop. Today I was full of confidence. Six hours of interaction, good and bad customers. I had a good long chat with a colleague in which we put the world to rights and had a good old moan about relationships and the failings of potential partners. Truth be told, I normally start to feel uncomfortable around people after around an hour but for the sake of being social and friendly, I normally battle through it.
Halfway home, my colleague got off the bus leaving me with a witty punchline that had me grinning. Then, coming down from the joke, I kept going down.
I started crying. I don’t know why. I know that it wasn’t because my colleague had gone. I hadn’t had a bad thought or experience. My mood just fell and took my confidence with it. I managed to hide my tears from the other passengers and hid at home until now. I missed a birthday party. I missed being around the people that make me feel so good about myself. All because of this fall and not having the strength to fight the fear and leave the house.